


The Past and the Pending

by CarburetorCastiel



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone, Coming Out to Carl, Daryl & Aaron Friendship, Daryl In Love, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Family, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multiple Characters Mentioned, Possessive Rick, Preamble, Rick in Love, Rickyl, Rickyl Writers' Group, Secret Relationship, So much family talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-05-07 21:19:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5471105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarburetorCastiel/pseuds/CarburetorCastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on a run with Aaron, Daryl decides that it's finally time that the group know about his relationship with Rick. And Rick, noticing all the couples out in the open in Alexandria, decides  it's time that he and Daryl stopped hiding. But first, they have to talk with Carl about it. Unfortunately, that's the part that scares them the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Daryl Falls On His Face

**Author's Note:**

> *Updated 8th July, 2016 for errors and improved wording.
> 
> I suggest listening to 'Band of Horses' while reading Rickyl. The album "Cease to Begin" is best for this story, in my opinion.
> 
> Comments about how I can improve are greatly appreciated!  
> Let me know if you see any glaring clerical errors that I missed while editing or if you think a certain tag should be added.  
> Love you all! Thanks for reading!  
> **I apologize for the, at times, cheesy nature of this story...
> 
> As always, this is dedicated to Tori.

Daryl slunk along five feet behind Aaron. He was tired. God, he was so tired. Being on the run for so long kept his energy at an all time high as he fought to protect his group and survive. Now that they were all at Alexandria, Daryl’s pent up fatigue finally caught up with him. Of course, he was still alert and cautious; it’s just that now he was able to let his shoulders relax and, inexplicably, let himself be lead by Aaron through the woods instead of tracking Rick’s heels from one camp to another like a loyal dog.

 

Even though he would never admit it to anyone but himself, Daryl missed Rick. He had just seen him less than three hours ago, but he already felt himself forgetting exactly what Rick’s lips tasted like. Daryl licked his lips then, too distracted to realize Aaron had been explaining what he thought their game plan should be for the next day. Daryl mumbled something to feign acknowledgment in his distracted state.

 

Aaron had only ever experienced a near silent Daryl so he didn’t think anything was out of the ordinary. However, when Daryl – highly experienced in both hunting and tracking – managed to trip over a tree root, Aaron was tipped off that something was amiss with him. He watched Daryl pick himself up off the ground, slowly and deliberately, not even trying to hide his blunder from Aaron. Daryl was very grateful when Aaron – being mindful of the nature of his companion – refrained from offering to help him up. “Daryl, I know you don’t like when I talk on these outings, but is something on your mind?” Daryl answered with silence - then a grunt - then silence.

 

Aaron walked a couple more feet, noticing that Daryl was walking a bit more briskly behind him, now. He considered the silence for a moment. Honestly, Aaron wanted to be friends with Daryl – that is if Daryl even allowed himself to have ‘friends’. Being alone outside Alexandria was far more inviting with a companion who would speak to you candidly. Aaron took a quick glance at Daryl and said, “Is it about Rick?”

 

Daryl scrunched up his face but kept walking – trying not to react too noticeably. The question was a little unusual, but Daryl figured that all Aaron knew about him and his group was that Rick was the leader, which then becomes the only real possibility for a topic of conversation. Well, that, and they could’ve also talked about the bike that Aaron had offered up for Daryl to fix. “What’d you mean?” Daryl asked indifferently.

 

“It just must be difficult since you two haven’t had much private time together since you came to our community.” Aaron was prepared for whatever Daryl might’ve done. He sidestepped as Daryl rounded on him and cut him off from advancing down the path. Aaron held up a placating hand, but Daryl didn’t seem quite as angry as he seemed deeply curious about how Aaron _knew_. There was no mistaking Aaron’s tone and Daryl knew exactly what he was saying.

 

Daryl leaned back to assess his partner. “What, do you have some sort of sixth sense for this shit since you’re queer too?”

 

Aaron chuckled and smiled cautiously at Daryl. “No, no it’s not that – although, I admit, that would be very cool. No, Carl told me.”

 

Daryl’s eyes had drifted pensively out of focus until the mention of Carl when they shot right back to boring holes into Aaron’s own eyes. “You lying to me?” Rick and Daryl hadn’t told anyone yet. They’d been together for a while now – since right after Hershel’s farm fell to walkers and Lori was about halfway through her pregnancy. Daryl could have sworn that no one had any inkling as to the deeper relationship that he and Rick shared. They were always careful, always quiet. “Carl don’t know shit about his dad and me. I know cause it’s been killing Rick that we ain’t got the guts to tell him.” Daryl glanced down at his hands. Daryl wanted so badly to tell Carl. No one else needed to know, but Carl was Rick’s _family_ , his son, his blood. But Rick had said that he would do it when he was ready; he didn’t know how Carl would feel about his old man being with someone else not long after his mother had died.

 

Aaron forced himself not to let a smile creep onto his face. He was so pleased that Daryl was more-or-less opening up to him. He had just said so many things all at once, and Aaron could no longer count on two hands the total sentences Daryl had spoken to him. Aaron held back his smile, though. He lowered his hand and said as reassuringly as he could, “Carl knows, Daryl. He told me about you two after he met Eric and saw him and me together. I figure Carl must not have known many, in your words, ‘queer’ people before all this, and I guess I seemed as good as any to confide in. He never said anything about y’all not telling him, though.”

 

Daryl nodded shortly and kept walking at a slow pace. He had several questions and things to say, but what he asked first was, “So did you and your boyfriend go round telling everyone you weren’t the only gay couple in town no more?”

 

“No, Daryl, of course not.” Aaron readjusted his pack on his shoulder. “For one, it’s not our place to discuss other people’s business. And besides, we aren’t the staple gay couple in town anyways. Eric is gay, but I’m pansexual – just so happens that we fell in love with each other. There is a difference.”

 

Daryl felt like Aaron was fishing for information about him. _Here’s a line about me, Daryl, now it’s your turn._

 

It was quiet for a while as they walked. Daryl wondered – more like worried – what Carl thought about him and his dad. Oh, God, Daryl knew that if Carl had a problem with it, then neither Rick or Daryl himself would feel right continuing on the way they had. He was sad and distracted again thinking about the terribly painful possibility that he and Rick may be forced apart from each other. He thought about Rick’s lips again, and that beard that Daryl missed so much after Rick shaved it clean off. Damn that man, and damn that beard. He needed Rick. He needed Rick to be his. Daryl had no idea how he could live if Rick couldn’t stay _his_.

 

“You, uh, you said you ain’t gay,” Daryl stated. Aaron nodded affirmatively. “Rick ain’t gay.” He paused a second trying to figure out if he really, truly wanted to keep talking, to keep _sharing_ about his life – about his love life in particular. But now Aaron had tapped into some part of him that desperately needed someone to trust, someone to talk to about Rick that wasn’t, of course, Rick. He wanted a friend.

 

He continued, “Yeah, we talked about it once because I thought he was just a gay man who married a woman cause he didn’t know it yet or was trying to hide it or something. But, nah, he’s bisexual, he said. Apparently, he knew by the time he was in middle school and got a crush on his old pal Shane.” Daryl thought about Shane’s death back at the farm and the subsequent death of the risen-again Shane. Sometimes he wondered if Rick missed him. He wondered if Rick would rather be having late night talks with Shane who would actually join in the discussion instead of just sit there and mumble the occasional one or two-word response like Daryl did.

 

Daryl continued. “Of course, you know, he did love his wife.” He paused but didn’t need to think about it for very long before adding, “He loves me, though, too.” Daryl let a petite smile ghost across his face. He just said out loud to another human being, for the first time, that Rick Grimes loved him. It felt so right to not hide this anymore. It’s really hard to hide the most important thing in your life from everyone all the time. God, he never understood that admitting something like this could make his whole body tingle. Was something wrong with him or was this just how this worked? It was one of the most bizarre feelings that the hunter had ever experienced.

 

Through this all, Aaron had stayed as unobtrusive as possible so as not to startle Daryl into shutting up. He gave a couple encouraging nods along the way; letting his companion know that it was okay, it was safe to keep talking – to let it all be out there, finally. “Yeah, Rick’s into tits as well as dick. I’m gay, though,” Daryl finished, “I know that much.” There was a ten-second silence before Daryl added, “Didn’t know for sure until I met Rick. I never been with anyone before him, though. So, I guess, how could I have known, right?” Daryl stopped walking to wait as Aaron took a fresh water bottle from his pack and drank. “I mean, even when I was young, I knew I never much liked girls in a more-than-friends sort of way, but I didn’t really let myself think too much about how I felt about the boys either. But, whatever.”

 

They started walking again. Daryl was back to being quiet. He had said all that he cared to at the time, and he was beginning to get angry with himself for the incredible amount of over-sharing that he had just taken part in. Aaron didn’t push for anything else from Daryl as they continued their trek. After a while, they decided to head back to Alexandria for the night, agreeing that they would both much rather go home to their boyfriends then camp out only four miles away from the town after a routine radial perimeter check.

 

Daryl had caught and hung a couple squirrels from his belt during the escapade and held them up to his group as he and Aaron reentered the town. The Alexandrians, for the most part, looked at him as if he were a silly child for bringing that filth inside when right now they had enough food stocked up for the lot of them. However, his group, Rick’s group, Daryl’s _family,_ thanked him for his catch. This helped to play into Daryl’s need to keep taking care of everyone in the way that was most familiar and comfortable to him. They all knew he wasn’t the most enthusiastic about being in the town. Showing their gratitude for his efforts was pretty much the only thing they knew they could do to help him feel a little more at ease.

 

When Daryl and Aaron weren’t immediately greeted at the gate by Rick, Daryl turned to Michonne with a small inquisitive stitch in his eyebrows. Michonne flitted her eyes and gave a gentle nod towards Deanna’s house. It wasn’t unusual for a group as close-knit as theirs to form a communication style of their own and even, in some cases, their own type of language. But for Michonne and Daryl, countless hours spent away from camp together had given them the ability to practically read each other’s minds with only a glance or two. They valued this friendship between them because it showed everyone else that they were more than just Rick’s right and left hands. They were the providers, protectors, and peace-keepers that Rick entrusted whole-heartedly to get their jobs done while he handled the ethics and politics that came with being the leader.

 

Daryl strode at a steady pace to Deanna’s house. Throughout his life, Daryl wasn’t always welcome or wanted. He spent a lot of his time not knowing where he fit in or where he was needed. However, with his new family, he knew his place, and that place was right by Rick’s side. Daryl never let anything get in his way of being in his place anymore. The door to Deanna’s house couldn’t stop him, the Alexandrian woman who was on guard in the hall couldn’t stop him, even the protests from Deanna’s husband were effortlessly and indignantly shoved away as Daryl strode through the house to come stand behind Rick’s left shoulder.

 

Rick hadn’t stopped talking when Daryl came in and he didn’t even acknowledge his presence except for straightening his posture a bit and leaning back far enough to be able to just barely come in contact with Daryl’s side. This was how it worked - Daryl was naturally meant to be there, so Rick didn’t need to make note of the fact that he had appeared or to convince Deanna to let him stay. Rick just connected himself directly to Daryl like a magnet fastening itself to its mate.

 

When Daryl came in, Deanna simply nodded and blinked slowly a few times in recognition while waiting for him to get adjusted to the spot Rick had kept in waiting for him. If Daryl was being honest with himself, he had a pretty good idea that Deanna knew the nature of his and Rick’s relationship.

 

Daryl had intended to listen to the conversation between the two heads-of-house while he waited to get Rick alone. Instead, his mind drifted to Rick’s hands gesturing back and forth, changing with the different lilts in his voice. The last time he had felt one of those hands on him had been early that morning when Rick bade him farewell at the gates. Had Carl seen that? Had he seen the gentle squeeze that his father gave to the hunter’s calloused hand before regrettably letting it go? Had any of the others seen? Just how many touches and looks had Rick and Daryl unknowingly let slip through the cracks?

 

Now that Merle and Lori were gone, they didn’t think that there would be anyone around who had a problem with the two of them being together. Besides that, the only opinion they even cared about was Carl’s. He was all that mattered to them. At first, they hid the reality of their bond so Lori and Merle wouldn’t make their lives miserable. Then after losing them, they hid it so as not to upset Carl after the sudden and incredibly painful event of his mother’s death. But, now, Daryl wondered why they still hid.

 

It wasn’t like Daryl wanted to go door to door and tell everyone, but he just wanted to be able to be more openly intimate with Rick like Glenn and Maggie were allowed to be. He wanted to be able to get a quick kiss at the gate from Rick before leaving with Aaron. He wanted to be able to touch his and Rick’s foreheads together with his hand on the back of his boyfriend's neck when he came back home to him safely. He wanted to be even more associated as a part of Rick than he was already. He wanted to be titled as not just one of Rick’s second-in-commands but his faithful partner too.


	2. In Which Rick Focuses On The Past

Rick had been under an incredible amount of stress since waking up from his coma so long ago. He, just like Daryl and the others, had grown accustomed to a certain way of living and the stress from living in the walker’s domain easily turned itself to stress from living under Deanna’s rule. Rick was the leader, the god-hand. Rick’s decision was the end-all-be-all, the final word. That power was familiar to him now. That was where he felt safest. That was what helped him feel sane. But now he had someone to answer to.

 

Being in Alexandria was taxing on Rick’s patience. He knew what was best for both his and Deanna’s people. He spent years as an officer of the law making decisions for the good of everyone involved. He knew how to do it right. Deanna wasn’t a bad leader. She was actually very skilled at getting people to listen to her and to focus on what she needed them to do. But she didn’t have the experiences that Rick had.

 

Rick had fought his way through this new world – killing the living and the dead more times than he could possibly count. He had watched his friends and family die. There had been several times when he was the one at the other end of the bullet or blade that was forced to mercifully end lives of good people. He dealt with his group being kidnapped, made hostages, and held at gunpoint by other survivors. In Terminus, he knelt tied up and gagged with Bob, Daryl, and Glenn waiting to be slaughtered for other men’s subsistence.

 

Rick thought about that day at Terminus as he walked to Deanna’s house. He had been sandwiched between Bob and Daryl with Glenn flanking Daryl’s left. It killed him to think that after all this time of making it through and fighting off all the walkers they could, they would be executed by a bunch of hungry Jeffrey Dahmer’s without a second thought. In that instant, he felt like he had failed everyone. That was the lowest point for Rick. Lori’s death had taken a toll on him physically and mentally, but in those moments of seeing knives pressing against his friends’ throats and not having an ounce of hope left, he was at his absolute worst.

 

Rick remembered thinking about Glenn who had selflessly rescued him from a hoard of the undead after Rick managed to get himself stuck inside that broken tank. Even though Glenn didn’t know him from Adam, he made a point to get him to safety. Atlanta had seemed like lifetimes ago. He also thought about Bob who had only been a part of his group for a short time but had proven his worth time and again since his arrival. He knew that Sasha and Maggie were the only things on the brave men’s minds as they waited on cold concrete for what was to come next. Rick knew exactly how Sasha and Maggie must have been feeling just then. They had no idea just what was happening to their partners inside the walls of the old train-station-turned-butcher-shop, and Rick knew how much that must have been killing them too.

 

It was different for Rick, though. He was placed right next to his partner, leaning his body to the side just enough to be able to touch Daryl. He needed to feel that he was still alive even though they couldn’t know for how much longer he would be. Daryl had kept eye contact with Rick for a long minute as they sucked in difficult breaths through the rags stuffed in their mouths. Daryl’s eyes were angry yet resigned and they tried to communicate with Rick just how much he loved him. Right then, Rick regretted that he hadn’t told Daryl that he loved him one last time before his mouth was covered. He actually couldn’t remember the last time they had exchanged that sentiment with each other. However, the second they had fought through Gareth’s men, Rick clasped Daryl’s arm to stop him long enough for Rick to breathlessly whisper his affection once again.

 

Now almost to Deanna’s house, Rick pulled himself from those thoughts of bad times now since past. He thought how Deanna could not understand the pain of knowing that you would never be able to tell the love of your life one last time that he was one of the greatest things to ever happen to you and you just couldn’t believe you were so blessed to get to be the one to love him. She could not possibly understand how much rage coursed through Rick’s body at seeing sharp metal, ready to slice, curving around his boyfriend’s throat just above a fading bruise that Rick had sucked into Daryl’s skin only a few days before. She’d never understand that. And that added itself to the stack of reasons why Rick thought he knew better than her about what was best for the town.

 

Rick rapped swiftly at the cleanly painted door. After he had waited outside listening to the echoes of his knocking run circles around his mind, Rick was greeted by Deanna’s husband. Reg took him to Deanna and kissed his wife on the cheek before backing out of the room again. Rick got an ache in his gut at the sight. He wanted, _needed_ , to be able to get a chaste kiss on his cheek from Daryl with no reason to hide and no questions asked. Rick wanted nothing more than for Daryl to overtly mark him as his own so everyone would know that Rick was taken.

 

He also felt like Daryl should get to boast spotted red hickeys on the sides of his neck as he walked around town amongst all the hungry, staring eyes begging to touch what exclusively belonged to Rick. Rick had noticed some of the Alexandrians ogling his oblivious boyfriend and Rick was getting fed up with it. Daryl was Rick’s and Rick was Daryl’s and no one knew. It was getting harder for Rick to handle keeping this secret just between the two of them, and Rick had a feeling that Daryl felt the same way.

 

At one point as Rick was talking with Deanna, he processed that he was leaning back into a solid form that could only be Daryl. Rick had no idea _when_ Daryl had shown up behind him or if Daryl had actually been there the whole time. Rick liked that about them; they didn’t need constant acknowledgment of the other’s presence to communicate. They could be miles apart one minute and then laying close together the next as if their collective conscience jumped ahead to the moments that they were near each other.

 

Listening to Deanna’s closing remarks, Rick breathed in deeply and caught the scent of blood – both walker and animal – that always accompanied his hunter. Rick ran his hand through his hair and motioned to scratch at his beard before remembering that he had mowed it down during their first night in town. He flexed his hand open and closed a few times before pocketing it so he wouldn’t automatically seek out Daryl’s hand in the middle of Deanna’s office. Although, he honestly didn’t think that subtly would have been such a bad way to introduce their relationship to everyone. After all, it wasn’t like Rick and Daryl to make a show of anything.

 

The discussion was finally over and Rick wanted to bolt right out the door to have a minute of private conversation with Daryl. Decorum, however, was a part of showing power. So, he deliberately straightened his back and strode out of the house with Daryl’s loyal footsteps trailing after his own. Once out on the open street, Rick moved over to allow Daryl’s stride to maneuver to his left. They fell into a synchronized rhythm of marching legs and antsy hands trying to occupy the time before they finally got to melt into each other’s skin again.


	3. In Which Daryl Can’t Get Out of His Head

Daryl huffed quietly to himself because once he and Rick finally made it to the house, they were immediately stopped inside the doorway by Tara and Glenn. Both of them went on chattering to Rick about something that didn’t concern Daryl so he pushed past them and leaned against the wall by the staircase, waiting. Rick gave a few quick glances in his direction to let him know that he was just as impatient as Daryl was.

 

Daryl didn’t want to keep waiting. He knew that if he put it off any longer, then he wouldn’t keep the strength up to talk with Rick… and Carl. They needed to do this today, now. What if Daryl went out tomorrow with Aaron and never came back? What if Daryl hadn’t gotten the chance to ask Carl if he was okay with Daryl and his father being involved? He loved Rick - _loved_ him - and Daryl didn’t want to leave this world without being able to tell Rick’s son how much he and his father and Judith meant to him.

 

The hunter looked down at his hands and decided that it would be a good idea to wash the grime from them before putting them all over Rick in his clean uniform. So he silently slipped upstairs to get cleaned up and wait for Rick in one of the small, vacant bedrooms that had become their unofficial designated private area when it wasn’t in use. (Once, however, when Rick went to wait there for Daryl, it was acting as the unofficial designated private area for another of the group’s couples. Unfortunately, Rick had to endure a few eternal seconds of seeing far more of Glenn and Maggie than he ever anticipated that he would.)

 

After Daryl had locked himself in the bathroom, he scrubbed soap deep into the crevices of his skin and under his fingernails as best as he could. Daryl had never been too caught up with hygiene even before the world went to hell. Sure, he brushed his teeth and washed his hands, but it was never excessive or very thorough. After Judith was born, though, Rick had started obsessing about getting his hands as clean as possible before he held her so he wouldn’t get her sick. As a result, Daryl and the others made a point to try to only handle the baby with fairly unsoiled hands. Daryl had quickly picked up the habit after being told off by Rick a few times too many. Now Daryl tried to wash up as often as time and resources permitted.

 

Just above the sink, there was a polished mirror with which Daryl had developed a complicated relationship. It had been so long since he had seen himself reflected properly that sometimes he found himself gazing into the mirror for long periods of time. Occasionally, he would look into his own eyes and image what Rick must think when he got to stare at them too. He genuinely liked his eyes and was grateful for the vibrant colors they contained. He even liked the tired bags underneath; he thought they made him look distinguished and intimidating in a way.

 

Daryl loved it when Rick would compliment his eyes, and Daryl loved that he was actually able to accept a compliment for once since he happened to agree. It had never been easy for him to just say thank you when he was complimented, and getting praise typically made him uncomfortable. Thanks to the mirror, though, he got to find something that he liked about himself well enough to believe Rick’s admirations.

 

What Daryl hated about that fucking mirror was that it forced him to acknowledge each of the emotions that were currently surging through him. Too many times had he stopped and thought about everyone that they had lost because his face had paraded his grief and anger in naked resignation. He found he couldn’t escape those cold stares echoing back at him after he managed to screw up again, or Carl got pissy with him, or he argued with Rick, Michonne, or Carol. There had been a particularly awful day when Daryl was kicking himself for being careless around some walkers which nearly got Aaron killed. The idea that he was almost the cause of another life lost forced him into a spiral of remembering Sophia, then T-Dog, then Andrea and Merle, Hershel, Bob, Beth, Tyreese – god, it never stopped.

 

And the mirror, up in the quietest part of the house where he and Rick could talk alone, would never let him forget. And Rick could never forget the time he waited in the bedroom for Daryl to return from the restroom but he was too impatient so he flung the bathroom door wide open to find his boyfriend doubled over on the toilet lid crying. And Daryl would never forget how badly he had overreacted and shoved Rick away from him when he was just trying to help... Maybe Daryl should just break the damn thing.

 

Daryl rubbed his face with a wet towel, letting the cold water stream down his cheeks. He heard muffled creaking as someone hastened up the stairs. Footsteps traveled past the bathroom and into the small bedroom beside it. Now having finally escaped from the demanding attention of the group, Rick would be waiting for Daryl.

 

Daryl checked the mirror once more and glanced over his hands for any dirt he may have missed. He wasn’t entirely sure why his stomach kept anxiously flipping. It was only Rick - Carl wasn’t with them yet. This part of the talk wasn’t the part he should be nervous about. Yet, his hands were clammy and he couldn’t stop blinking every two seconds as if he just stared down a flashbulb.

 

The hunter sighed and slipped out of the bathroom. Light from the vacant bedroom streamed into the hallway. Rick was leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed, looking pensively into the room. Daryl invaded the remaining space in the open doorway and Rick immediately flicked his attention to him.

 

Daryl opened his mouth to greet him but was cut off as Rick swiftly pulled the other man into the room by the neck of his shirt. Gently but sternly Rick pushed him to the wall so they could have something to stabilize their bodies as Rick kissed from Daryl’s jaw all the way across his mouth with urgency.

 

“Daryl, my god,” Rick knotted his hands into Daryl’s shirt and leaned back enough to see his boyfriend’s face. “I always forget how much I miss you until you’re right next to me but I’m not allowed touch you.” Daryl knew Rick was talking about being in Deanna’s office and having to shove his hand in his pocket instead of sliding his fingers between Daryl’s bony ones.

 

Daryl gripped Rick’s hands and moved them down to rest on his hips so he could lean back into his boyfriend and nuzzle against his warm neck. “Ain’t my fault that you got constable responsibilities now and can’t ever get outside the wall.” Daryl breathed his words lightly into the bend of Rick’s neck.

 

“Why is your nose so damn cold?” Rick removed himself from Daryl to drag him towards the bed. “Sent a shiver down my spine.” Daryl smirked and apologized as he sat down on the edge of the mattress and rubbed at his nose.

 

They sat in silence for a few seconds, knowing what they needed to talk about, yet somehow already knowing that they were on the same page. Starting the conversation was the hard part. Rick and Daryl had never been good at starting serious talks; especially ones that were somewhat scheduled or at least planned like this.

 

Daryl found Rick’s hand again, sitting on the mattress, and wiggled his fingers into the spaces between Rick’s own. The leader sighed and turned his body to face Daryl. Rick looked defeated and tired. “Daryl, I… I can’t do it anymore.”

 

Daryl’s heart jumped at Rick’s words because for a split second he thought he meant that he couldn’t handle being with Daryl anymore. Daryl _had_ noticed that Rick had been spending more time with that blonde woman. But Rick knew his hunter well enough and held Daryl in place so he couldn’t pull back with thoughts that Rick wanted to leave him. So he squeezed Daryl’s hand and smiled cautiously at him and added. “And I know you’ve been thinking the same thing – that it’s time that everyone knew…”

 

Daryl’s mind calmed a bit. It was a huge relief to have confirmation that Rick felt the same way he did about this whole ordeal. “Aaron knows about you and me. Told me out on our run today.” Daryl tilted his head to the side waiting for Rick’s answer.

 

Rick just scoffed and said, “Hell, that doesn’t surprise me. I mean he’s got Eric and who knows how much they’ve had to hide as well. Aaron probably recognized himself in us, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I was thinking he had some sort of queer psychic powers.” Daryl inspected his freshly cleaned fingernails and bit at the tips. “But, nah, he didn’t know ‘til Carl told him.”

 

Rick assessed Daryl, “What do you mean ‘Carl told him’?”


	4. In Which Rick Gets to Smile

“What? God, it’s not like you two were subtle!” Carl was sitting on the arm of the sofa with one leg folded over the other and his arms crossed loosely against his chest. Rick was standing a few feet in front of the couch, mirroring his son with his own arms crossed and a stitch in his brow. Daryl was sitting quietly in a chair towards the other end of the room. “I mean, it’s hard to have any privacy nowadays, and sometimes I overheard y’all talking.”

 

Daryl leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, “What’d you hear?”

 

“Nothing real clear.” Carl looked from his dad to Daryl slowly. “Just some stuff that would’ve meant nothing at all if I hadn’t _seen_ some stuff too.”

 

“What’d you _see_?” Rick asked, and a worried red blush crept up his neck as if warning him that he may not want to know what exactly his son saw them doing. Rick quickly flashed through everything he and Daryl had done – holding hands, gently touches, kissing, sucking hickeys into each other’s skin, jerking each other off, some other unsavory acts, and, of course, having sex in various fashions.

 

Carl unfolded his arms and legs and leaned back with a knowing smirk plastered across his face. “Dad, I don’t know if I should discuss it. This may not be a PG-rated conversation.”

 

“Ah shit,” Daryl flushed from top to bottom and instinctively meandered towards the door in case he needed to escape. Rick watched him walk farther away from him with wide eyes pleading for Daryl not to leave him there.

 

Carl’s chuckle turned into a sneeze and he nearly fell from his perch on the couch. “I told you that you ain’t subtle!” He stood to face the both of them, who were now pushed as close to the exit as they could get without being obvious about. “Nah, don’t worry, all I saw was some touches that weren’t like a _friend_ -touch, they were more… romantic… I guess - stuff I only see couples do. ” Carl directed his attention to Daryl. “And once I saw you grab my dad’s hand in your sleep. I think you were having a nightmare.”

 

Daryl blushed and tilted his chin up to the ceiling to avoid Carl’s eye. He knew he’d done that a couple times but he had hoped against hope that no one noticed. He wasn’t ashamed about having nightmares but he was a little ashamed that he couldn’t handle them himself. He’d always been that way, too. When he was a kid his mother and Merle would help calm him down. Once he was older and his mother was gone, Merle just told him to “buck the fuck up little brother ‘cause grown ass men don’t have nightmares.” However, Daryl would much rather someone see him reach for Rick’s hand in the middle of the night instead of all the times that a startled Daryl woke up to Rick’s boner pushing right up against his side... _the fucking horndog_.

 

Rick squeezed Daryl’s upper arm as he moved past him to sit next to Carl on the couch. He looked his son in the eyes and opened his mouth, trying to speak. He wanted to get on with it. He wanted to ask Carl if this was okay with him. He needed to know that Carl wasn’t mad at him. He wanted to tell Carl that this had nothing to do with his mother and that he did love Lori right up until the end. Before he had a chance to gather his thoughts, Carl interrupted.

 

“The only thing I don’t get,” he looked from Daryl to Rick, “is why you guys didn’t tell me.” He turned to Daryl again, who shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. “It’s _me_ , you know.” Looking down, Carl paused and started picking at fuzzies on the couch absently. “I mean, I get why you didn’t want to go around announcing yourselves to everyone, especially to those of us who knew Mom. But, c’mon, Dad, Daryl.” He starred both of them down in turn. “What did you think I was gonna do?”

 

The air was stagnant for a couple seconds. Daryl thought about the thousand reasons they had lined up for not telling Carl and realized that none of them were valid, that they were all excuses - and Carl sat waiting for his answer.

 

 _He’s right._ Daryl thought. _That wasn’t fair._

 

Rick sighed and looked to Daryl, “I feel like a schoolboy being told off by the principal.”

 

Carl laughed quietly at Rick, which caused Daryl to snort a chuckle under his breath and Rick smiled. He smiled because he loved hearing his son laugh and he loved being with two of the most important people in the world to him. He smiled because he was with his family and that he was grateful that he still had family to hold on to. He smiled because he knew that all his anxieties about telling Carl were completely unfounded. And he smiled because this right here, Daryl and Carl and the rest of his family was all he would ever need and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was.


	5. In Which Daryl Doesn’t Want to Share

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the story. Please let me know what you think in the comments so I can improve on future projects. Thanks so much for reading.

Words. Daryl hated words. He never knew which ones to say at what time and he always ended up just getting it all wrong. He and Rick had just spent the past couple hours with Carl, the three of them trying to find the right words to say to the group.

 

Rick’s contribution to the conversation was a plan to discuss his and Daryl’s relationship with everyone individually as they encountered them. This plan was systematic and tailored to each member of the group. Rick had always been the kind of guy who recognized the value of a one-on-one conversation. All those years as a cop taught him that.

 

Carl’s contribution was the grand idea to have a family meeting where they could establish themselves as a couple to everyone all at once. This way it would be bold, direct, and unapologetic – three attributes that Carl himself displayed.

 

Daryl’s contribution was to vehemently object to both notions. “You know what, no.” Daryl sat back on his heels. “I ain’t doing any of that.” Rick puffed out air slowly through his mouth and Carl groaned. “Nah, it’s not like we have to make some show of it, you know? That’s not fair cause Glenn…” He waved his hand around. “Glenn and Maggie, they just held hands and shit and never once said ‘Hey, so you all know, we’ve been fucking each other for a while now.’”

 

“Daryl!” Rick scoffed and looked to Carl who was smiling wryly at them.

 

“It’s okay, Dad. I _have_ heard that word before.” Carl snickered and wiped the hair from his eyes. “Plus, I already knew you two were fucking.”

 

“Carl!” Rick and Daryl both snapped.

 

There was a contemplative silence in the room before Rick sighed in resignation and said, “Okay, Daryl, so what do you want to do, then?”

 

***

 

Their whole group was sitting around the living room, eating and talking with each other. They had all chosen seats that, when put together, formed a large circle. Carol sat next to Michonne on a piano bench with Tara at their feet. Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita were crowded together at a small side table. Glenn and Maggie had taken up residence on the couch. Across from them, Sasha was on Daryl’s right, with Rick and Carl to his left. Judith was fast asleep in Rick’s arms.

 

Daryl carefully looked from one person on to the next as if he was cataloging their positions like astronomers mapped the stars. He was so grateful that he had a family and people to call home. Maggie, Carol, Michonne, Glenn, Carl, Judith, Rick – they were his sisters, brother, children, lover; and the rest of them were quickly making their way into his inner circle. Daryl had fought to protect everyone around that circle. He had done it too many times to count and he knew he would have to do it thousands more.

 

Rick and Carl may have thought it was a good idea to talk things over with the group, but Daryl had always been one to rely on actions speaking for him. When Rick had asked him earlier that day what he wanted to do, Daryl had no answer. How the hell was he supposed to know what he wanted? He didn’t know what was the best way to do this. He just wanted it to be out there and done and then left alone. Quick, easy, painless – like removing a Band-Aid. Except, he couldn’t find where to grab the Band-Aid and rip.

 

Rick had stared at him for a moment after he asked what he wanted to do and Daryl just stared back. Eventually, when he was prompted again, Daryl looked down and said, “I dunno. I’ll let you know what I think later. I just need some time to figure it out, I guess.” Then he got up and left, leaving Carl and Rick feeling like they all had wasted a lot of time and gotten nowhere.

 

Now they were all here and having a perfectly good night together, sitting in the living room with more food than they had gotten while they were on the run. Everyone had mostly finished up eating besides Rick who was trying his best to eat while he held his sleeping daughter. Tara was going on about something that was making Carol and Michonne chuckle at her. Glenn and Maggie had turned to talk with Rosita and her boys. Sasha was sitting quietly, keeping to herself, as she had been for days now.

 

Judith squawked when Rick tried to gently move her from one arm to the other and everyone looked up for a moment at her outburst. Instinctively, Daryl reached for her, offering to take her off Rick’s hands. “She’s all right, Daryl, I got her.”

 

Everyone was talking in their groups again, not looking at them anymore, so Daryl ventured to say in retort, “Give her to me, Babe. I can hold her while you eat.”

 

Sasha, being the only one paying them any mind, spun her head towards Daryl. Her eyes were inquisitive and Daryl could feel them on him even as he refused to look her way and confirm it. Rick and Carl gave identical looks of slight shock. Then Rick smiled softly at him and handed the baby over. Sasha looked between the two men and Carl once more before returning to her place without any questions voiced.

 

Daryl held Judith close to his chest as Rick skimmed his gaze across his face. If anyone had been looking there would have been no doubt that the look Rick was giving Daryl was purely one of love and reverence. Rick loved seeing Judith in Daryl’s arms. It never failed to get his heart-rate going and make his face flush. It was the same feeling he had gotten when he first saw Carl wrapped up in Lori’s arms when he was born – a feeling of family, a need to protect what he was seeing, knowing that he belonged with these people forever, getting to see just how blessed he really was.

 

Daryl looked up into Rick’s eyes and smiled. Nodding as he looked back down at Judith, Daryl gently slipped one hand to rest on Rick’s knee as Rick kept eating.

 

Carl whispered something to his dad then. “Daryl,” Rick whispered, “Carl said he gets what you’re doing.”

 

Daryl made a low inquisitive hum. “Ah, yeah? What’s that?” Daryl’s voice was quiet and husky.

 

“Says he should have figured you’d want to be subtle.” Rick took a bite of his food.

 

“I ain’t flashy like you Grimes men.” Daryl took a quick look around the circle. His eyes settled on Glenn and Maggie first. How many times had he seen the two of them reunited and just fucking run to each other and make sure the other was okay? How many times had he been the one to make sure they made it back together?

 

Daryl looked to Michonne and Carol. He knew that he owed his life to most of his family, but to Michonne and Carol he owed a whole lot more. Michonne was the one who always had his back when Rick wasn’t around and always looked after Rick if Daryl himself wasn’t present. From the time Michonne helped Rick back into Woodbury to extract Daryl, she had been keeping the both of them together in her own way.

 

Carol was the one who Daryl could call his friend. She was the one who chipped at his walls until she broke through and forced Daryl to open up. He had seen her change so drastically over their time together but always felt a strong connection with her. She understood him better than anyone, maybe even Rick – even though he did his best.

 

This was his family now and he had to keep telling himself that this family was nothing like his old family. They cared about him and needed him just as much as he did for them. Daryl watched Rick. No one was looking directly at them and only Sasha was listening in. He licked his lips and held his breath, thinking. _It’s your choice, Dixon. Better do it now since you already started it._

 

Rick cocked his head to the side, “Daryl, you okay? You seem - mmfph.” Daryl slotted his lips with Rick’s, stopping him mid-thought. His eyes were closed but he could hear the collective silence around the room. A couple small gasps were made and both men felt like bugs were crawling up their skin from all the eyes watching them. Rick put his hand on the back of Daryl’s head to pull him in closer. There was an indistinct “oh” that came from no one in particular and it seemed so silly to Daryl to think that some of them hadn’t had a clue.

 

The men broke apart after a moment and Daryl avoided looking up at everyone. Daryl had been so worried about what everyone might say after they found out, but sitting with Rick now, he finally didn’t care. Rick, however, started eating again while locking eyes with the group, almost like he was challenging them to say something. He was gradually leaning in closer to Daryl as if he was shielding him.

 

No one spoke. No one piped up with angry slurs or made a point to tell everyone that they totally already called it. Daryl was so relieved. Daryl’s hand was in Rick’s now and he occupied his time with cradling the baby. Slowly everyone turned back to each other to talk again, but this time in hushed tones as if that wouldn’t give it away that they were talking about the two of them. No one could have understood how glad Daryl was that no one said a word to them. It was better this way, to not discuss it, just show everyone how much Rick meant to him. That was better than trying to explain with words any day. Preemptively shutting people up with actions was much better than opening up a damn dialogue about the whole thing.

 

There was no denying that some of the group probably already knew. Michonne and Carol almost definitely knew. Tara knew about Daryl but not Rick. Maggie, Rosita, and Eugene seemed the most stunned. Hell, even Abraham seemed less caught off guard than Sasha and Glenn.

 

The room had grown silent again and everyone was just sitting and processing past encounters with Rick and Daryl to put the pieces together. Rick squeezed Daryl’s hand and opened his mouth to address the group. He was interrupted by Carl who shook his head, chuckled to himself, and said, “You guys should have seen your faces.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the story. Please let me know what you think in the comments so I can improve on future projects. Thanks so much for reading.


End file.
